INTRO
Can I Really Change?
We All Need Change in Our Lives
Jack started having intense struggles with lust in his teens. Twenty years or so later he’s still fighting sinful fantasies. He thought marriage would sort it all out, but it didn’t. He’s put in place regimens of spiritual discipline, all to no avail. Alongside this has grown an addiction to pornography, an addiction strengthened by the advent of the Internet.
You’d think Carla was a respectable Christian. She doesn’t swear, steal, get drunk, commit adultery, or commit any of the sins by which we measure one another’s godliness. But her Christian service has little joy. Often she’s irritable, often complaining.
Colin’s life was turned around when he converted. He left an adulterous relationship and stopped getting drunk. But a few years later, his Christian growth seems to have plateaued. Like Carla, he looks respectable enough. But those close to him know he has a temper. He’s not someone you’d ever want to cross.
If shopping were an Olympic sport, Emma would be a medal contender. She’s not had an easy life, and shopping cheers her up. New clothes, something for the home, luxury foods—these are the bright spots in her life. They’re her compensations. As a result money is tight, and she has little to give away to others.
Everyone said Jamal would be a great asset—godly, diligent, well-taught. But it soon became apparent that his diligence was driven by a need to prove himself. He wanted a position in the church, but his fear of failure was debilitating. There were dark moods, periods of withdrawal, tears.
Baptizing Kate had been the highlight of my year. But where to begin now? With her racism? Her drinking? Her innuendo? She’d gladly accepted the call to be ready to die for Christ, but how would she respond to the call to sobriety? How would that be good news?
Is there hope for these people? I’m convinced there is. There is the hope of change through Jesus. I know this because although I’ve created composite pictures and changed details, I know Jack, Carla, Colin, Emma, Jamal, and Kate.
People Can Change
When Jack went through an earlier version of this material with me, he stopped acting out his lust almost overnight. The sin and temptation to sin left his life. The struggle with porn has continued, with some falls, but also with many victories. Every now and then he sends me a text message asking for prayer and suggesting I “ask the question” next time we see each other.
Carla has blossomed. There hasn’t been a massive change in behavior, but her attitude is radically different. She often expresses her delight in God and her amazement at his grace. She serves willingly, looks for opportunities, and takes the initiative. When she speaks of others’ faults, it’s with grief and love, accompanied by affirmation.
Colin has a new lease on life with a growing delight in God. He still has occasions when he feels angry. But now he knows his anger reflects a desire for control. So he responds with repentance. He’s learning to trust God’s sovereignty in those moments.
Emma still likes shopping. But she has other things to do now and other places to turn. She’s too busy cooking for others or looking after their children. The highlights of her week are now her times with other Christians. She’s learning to find refuge in God.
Jamal is a lot more relaxed. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him in tears. It’s still a challenge for him not to let failures overwhelm him, but it’s been delightful to see him resting in God’s grace. With this has come a freedom to serve, both at work and within the community.
It’s been a joy to see Kate grow as a Christian. We’ve had to talk to her about some changes, while others have taken place naturally as she’s seen more of Christ’s glory. It’s not always been straightforward, but gradually she is working it out for herself. I can’t help smiling when I hear her begin, “I think maybe I ought to . . .”
Many books are written by experts. This isn’t one of them. It was written out of my own struggle to change. My long battle with particular problems set me searching the Scriptures as well as writings from the past. This book shares the wonderful truths I discovered that now give me hope.
Where You Can Find Hope to Change
For years I wondered whether I’d ever overcome certain sins. While I can’t claim to have conquered sin—no one ever can do so in this life—here are truths that have led to change in my life and in the lives of others. Here you will find real hope for a change.
You may be a new Christian, struggling to change the habits of your former way of life. You may be an older Christian who feels as if you’ve plateaued: you grew quickly when you first believed, but now your Christian life is much of a muchness. You may be a Christian who’s fallen into sin in a big way, and you’re wondering how you’ll ever get back on track. You may be helping other Christians grow, and you can tell them how they should live, but you’re not sure how to help them get there.
We’re not changed by systems or rules. We need a Redeemer to set us free, and we have a great Redeemer in Jesus.
This book is about hope. It’s about the hope we have in Jesus, hope for forgiveness, but also about hope for change. Not that this book will in itself change you. We’re not changed by systems or rules. We need a Redeemer to set us free, and we have a great Redeemer in Jesus. This book points to Jesus and explains how faith in Jesus leads to change, what theologians call sanctification or becoming more like Jesus.
There really is hope for change. You can change. Maybe you’ve kind of given up. Like me, you may have tried many times already. Like me, you may have read books that gave you lots of things to do. Please don’t despair. I believe you can experience hope for a change. I’ve read books full of good theology, and I’ve read books full of day-to-day advice. What this book tries to do is connect the truth about God with our Monday-morning struggles.
One of our problems is that we think of holiness as giving up things we enjoy out of a vague sense of obligation. But I’m convinced that holiness is always good news. God calls us to the good life. He’s always bigger and better than anything sin offers. The key is to realize why change is good news in your struggles with sin.
So I want to encourage you to work on a particular concern in your life as you read the book—your “change project.”