I sat cross-legged in a cushioned chair, tired. I had chosen the corner of a sitting room at a bed-and-breakfast hotel where classical music played softly in the background. A crackling fire roared to my left, snow fell silently outside the window, and occasionally a sleepy person would come get their morning coffee.
My Bible lay open in my lap, and I flipped to whatever passage in the Gospel of Luke followed yesterday’s reading. Suddenly the peace I felt in that cozy place dispelled, for the passage I read cut like a knife into my heart. Let me share it with you:
Now great crowds accompanied him [Jesus], and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’
Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:25-33 ESV)
This passage talks about the cost of following Jesus. Fear crept into my heart at Jesus’ very serious words, and I began to dread loss. What might I have to give up as a follower of Jesus? By God’s grace, I didn’t turn away from the difficult words I read (James 1:25). Instead, I prayed, oh help me, Lord, and looked again.
Tenderly and faithfully the Holy Spirit answered my prayer. He led me to read the passage again, and then he brought to my mind two helpful Scriptures, which I will share with you.
Through one passage from the Old Testament, and one from the New, the Holy Spirit altered my understanding—this passage in Luke that had seconds before consumed my heart with dread of loss led me to instead to think about love. The Holy Spirit quieted my fear, using Scripture to help me interpret Scripture! Most importantly, he reshaped the attitude of my heart through the Word of God, leading me to see the worth of Jesus, and to believe that he is the greatest treasure, worth anything that following him would cost me.
I pray you see Jesus’ glory, or his worth, as it’s revealed to us in Luke 14:25-35, just like the Holy Spirit helped me to see it.
What Will Following Jesus Cost Us?
Our Loved Ones
Some people downplay the severity of Jesus’ words by calling this passage hyperbole. But Jesus himself warned us against not taking him seriously (Matthew 5:19). Instead, we must intently consider what he says and receive it with the help of his Spirit (James 1:21, 25), rather than relax Jesus’ words out of fear.
Jesus speaks these words to a large crowd (Luke 14:25), who followed him around town, but may not have understood what it would mean to follow him all their days. Here is what he says to them,
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26 ESV)
We know Jesus is not telling us to harbor bitter feelings toward our loved ones—that would contradict the rest of Scripture. So, what does he mean? We get a better understanding from his words a few verses later:
So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:33 ESV)
In the King James Version, the word “renounce” translates as “forsaketh.” When you look up this word, it means “to bid farewell to.”[1] Anyone who wants to be Jesus’ disciple, must be ready to bid farewell to all he has—this includes your loved ones.
Notice Jesus does not present us with a “what if” scenario. He doesn’t say, “you can be my disciple if, when the time comes, you are willing to choose faithfulness to me over family or friend.”
He poses the cost of following him as a reality, not a possibility. If we are not ready now to pay the cost, will we ever be? Are you ready right now to give ultimate loyalty to Jesus, over those most precious to you?
Luke 16:13 also helps us, “No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other” (ESV).
Some of you may be painfully aware that this is what Jesus asks of you. Following Jesus will mean that your parents disown you. Choosing to be baptized in your country could earn you a death sentence. Committing your life to Jesus may mean your spouse will leave you or that your children cut you out of their lives.
Jesus is honest with us. You can understand now why my heart revolted. We know that Jesus means what he says. Following him is costly. But “forsaking” those we hold most dear is not even the full extent of what he asks of us.
Our Lives
Jesus says that following him will not only cost us our loved ones but also our own lives. Let’s return to Jesus’s words in Luke 14:26-27:
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. (ESV, emphasis added)
The cost of following Jesus is our own lives. Notice he doesn’t say whoever is willing to lose his or her life. He says whoever hates his life. Remember, we cannot serve two masters—our own will and Jesus’ will (Matthew 6:24). Following Jesus means that we are no longer ultimately devoted to our own wellbeing, our lives, but to him. Following Jesus means we surrender our autonomy and our desires to him.
Notice that Jesus’ call is personal, even though it’s broadly offered to “anyone” who wants to follow him. He calls each person who becomes his disciple to bear his own cross. Jesus bids any aspiring disciple to “come after me” (Luke 14:27), leaving all else behind, including self. For if Jesus is first, we cannot be first as well.
So, why would anyone want to follow Jesus?
What We Gain in Jesus
As I mentioned, Jesus’ words scared me. As I sat in that quiet room, I gave much thought to those people I don’t want to lose—they have names, their faces bring a smile to mine, and I treasure them. I shuddered to think of ever having to say the ultimate goodbye.
I gave much thought to the sufferings I hope to never face.
My Jesus is precious, but so are these people, so is life, so is my life! Would I ever have the strength to give up any of them?
Fear engulfed my heart, and tears began to stream down my face. Just then, the Holy Spirit lovingly came to my aid by calling to mind the first of the two Scriptures that would change my perspective. He whispered to my memory some familiar words,
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ… (Philippians 3:8 ESV, emphasis added)
Here Paul says that he bid farewell to everything—he counted everything as a loss. Why? Because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus his Lord. To gain Christ.
Perhaps I had been counting the wrong thing. To become a disciple of Jesus is to ultimately gain Christ himself! I wish that I could adequately explain what it is to gain Christ—to know Jesus.
Jesus, God with us (Matthew 1:23). Jesus, who rescues us from our sin and brings us into fellowship with God (1 Peter 3:18). Jesus, our friend (John 15:15). Jesus, our advocate (1 John 2:1). Jesus, our brother (Hebrews 2:17). Jesus, our God (Colossians 1:19). Jesus, our husband (Isaiah 54:5). Jesus, our King (Revelation 11:15). Jesus, our Maker (Colossians 1:16). Jesus, our Shepherd (John 10:11). Jesus, the way to know God the Father (John 14:6). Jesus, the one who gave us his Spirit (John 14:16). Jesus, the owner of all of heaven’s blessings (Ephesians 1:3). Jesus, who has prepared for us an eternal home (John 14:2-3). Jesus, who redeems all our pain (Romans 8:28). Jesus, who will one day wipe every tear from our eyes (Revelation 21:4).
Jesus, the King of kings, who served us before ever calling us into his service! He laid down his life for us in love so that we might be rescued from sin and hell and brought into his kingdom (Romans 5:8)—the kingdom of light, righteousness, peace, and joy (Romans 14:7; Colossians 1:13-14).
To count the cost of following Jesus is not to say, “let’s take a look at the things most precious to us and consider if we’re willing to lose them,” as though Jesus is asking us to send to the fire all that’s most precious to us as an initiation rite.
No. To count the cost of following Jesus is to take a look at all the things most precious to us, and to say, Jesus is so precious to me that he is worth all that and more.
No. To count the cost of following Jesus is to take a look at all the things most precious to us, and to say, Jesus is so precious to me that he is worth all that and more.
To count the cost is to look at Jesus, to consider who he is and what he has done for us, and then to decide whether he is worthy of whatever else we have considered precious.
So, we have to ask ourselves, is what we gain in Christ worth all we could ever lose for his sake?
The Heart of a True Follower of Jesus
Discipleship—following Jesus—is not about counting our loss; it’s about considering Christ’s worth.
Jesus “will come to have first place in everything” (Colossians 1:18 NASB), and so he must have first place in the hearts of his disciples.
But just like I did that winter morning, you may wonder how you will ever come to truly treasure Jesus such that he does have first place in your heart.
That’s when the Holy Spirit brought to mind the second passage that illuminated my understanding of Luke 14:25-33. Interestingly, it was from the Song of Songs. Read it with me:
Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
(Song of Songs 8:6-7 ESV, emphasis added)
Read that again. These poetic lines describe a loved one like a seal on the heart of the lover. No one else can capture that lover’s heart. Love is as strong as death—we know from fairytales and our own experiences that the threat of death doesn’t quench real love. Love is fiercely jealous for the affection of the lover. Not even suffering can drown love.
And—notice the end of that passage—love is priceless. If any of us tried to measure the price of the one we love, people would question whether we really love them at all.
By God’s own testimony here in the Song of Songs, when we are truly in love with someone, we do not count what they’re worth. We don’t fear what we will lose for their sake. We don’t faint at the fear of suffering we may have to weather together. The one we love becomes a seal across our hearts to guard us from giving ourselves to anyone or anything else.
Such love is described as the flame of the Lord—this kind of love is a love that only comes from God. This is the love Jesus has for us! And this is the love Jesus desires from us (James 4:5). For, all throughout the New Testament, disciples of Jesus are identified as “those who love him” (Romans 8:28; 1 Peter 1:8; James 1:12).
Those who know Christ, and who love him, when faced with all they will lose if they go on with him will say, “Yes, he’s worth it, because I love him.”
Jesus Is Worthy of Our Lives and Our Love
I believe that the more we meditate on the worth of Jesus—who he is and what he has done—the more that love for him will warm our hearts and shield us from the piercing winds of fear—the fear of loss and of suffering.
But if you find that your fear is hot and your love is cold, pray. Ask God to show you how worthy Jesus is, and to reveal to you the love that Jesus has for you (Ephesians 3:14-19).
For why do we love Jesus? Because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8 ESV).
Before we were ever interested in Jesus, when we were his enemies, he denied himself his throne in heaven and the privileges of sitting at God’s right hand (Philippians 2:6-7), he took up his cross—a cross he did not deserve—and he followed the will of the Father to die upon it (Isaiah 53:5). Why? “For the joy set before him he endured the cross”—in other words, because of his great love for us, he was willing to suffer the greatest of losses (Hebrews 12:2).
He denied himself and took up his cross to save us from our sins and the wrath of God that we deserve. But he did all that so that we might have eternal life—the everlasting joy of knowing him (1 Peter 3:18; John 17:3).
And as we follow our suffering Savior, we can trust that whatever loss he calls us to endure, he understands and grieves with us all the pain of those losses (John 11:1-44).
I closed my Bible in that quiet room that morning sobered. But at the same time, through Jesus’ severe summons, the Holy Spirit had led me through God’s Word to consider the love of my Savior and left my heart longing to love him in return.
Take my love; my Lord, I pour
at thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be
ever, only, all for thee,
ever, only, all for thee.
(Francis R. Havergal, 1874).
. . .
Source
[1] https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g657/kjv/tr/0-1/