How a Military Wife Learned to Pray and How You Can Too

A Conversation with Kristi Woods

In this episode, you will meet Kristi Woods, the author of 101 Prayers for Military Wives, who spent 19 years supporting her husband in his Naval career. More importantly, you will meet a woman who lives day-by-day depending on the Lord through prayer, and whose faith serves as an example to help us do the same.
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“And I had what I called ‘Good Girl Syndrome,’ that I just wanted to be a good girl and thought that good girl was kind of the goal. And it's not. Jesus is. Forgiveness is. And that salvation through him is.”

Kristi Woods shares with us how she came to know Jesus, and how she came to know her husband—how one letter she sent to a soldier led to 19 years as a military wife. She explains how she learned to pray, naming many of the insecurities we feel when we pray, and encourages us to draw near to God humbly, trusting that he hears and delights to answer our specific requests. You will come away inspired to seek the Lord and entrust your needs to him.

Guest Bio

Kristi Woods is an author, blogger, and faithful follower of Jesus. She took up the identity of military wife when her husband reenlisted in the Navy after they were married, and what God taught her during that time led her to write 101 Prayers for Military Wives. I (Eden) first met Kristi when a mutual friend connected us in person, and we laughed over our mutual semi-fluencey in military language. You can learn more about Kristi on her website: https://kristiwoods.net/

Book Recommendations
Every episode we ask our guest to tell us about a few books that have changed their lives. Check out Kristi Woods’ recommendations and consider adding them to your bookshelf!

The Pilgrim’s Progress

by John Bunyan

This is a powerful allegory that can be tough to read but totally worth it!

The Hiding Place

by Corrie Ten Boom

Corrie Ten Boom was a follower of Jesus who ended up in a concentration camp in World War II. It’s her powerful story and faith journey.
Transcript

Eden: Thank you so much, Kristi, for being willing to talk to us today. I’m really thrilled to get to hear some of your life story and hear some of the things that God has taught you along your journey as a military wife and as a follower of Jesus too. So I would love to hear, just to begin, a couple of things that bring you joy.

Kristi Woods: Okay, well, that one’s easy. There’s a little girl called Penelope Joy that came into our life this year, and she’s my granddaughter and 100% joy with this little girl. Like I said, it’s our first granddaughter and grandchild so we’re learning what grandparenting looks like. It’s a wonderful thing. I highly recommend it.

Another thing that brings me joy is God’s Word. I love his Word, and, in my terms, I say, “when it comes alive.” I think the Word even says that [“for the Word of God is alive and powerful” (Hebrews 4:12 NLT)], but it comes alive, and it just changes everything. Suddenly there’s clarity to a situation that maybe looked a little muddled before. It’s guidance for the road. It’s clarity (Psalm 19:8). I just feel like I want to dance when something like that happens. And the Holy Spirit gives great insight through his Word. So definitely those two things are highlights. And I have so much more but those are definitely two that rank high.

Eden: Wonderful. New life is such a joy to witness and to be a part of. Also definitely the Word is one of those ongoing sources of joy, because you can discover new things in the Bible every day. And the Lord speaks to us differently through it every day. Is there a part of God’s Word that’s especially precious to you?

Kristi Woods: There is. There are two Scriptures. Proverbs 3:5-6—which they’re fairly popular ones, but these are really close to my heart. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Even as a seasoned Christian, there are times where I need a reminder of that. And going back to it, there’s such a stability and a strength in that passage that I absolutely love it. It’s one that I take with me anywhere, and I often share with my readers on my website and in different places as well, because I think it’s just such a powerful Scripture.

Eden: Yes. And you said next to Proverbs 3:5-6—was there a second one?

Kristi Woods: There are a lot of second ones because I love the Word. But one that is really simple that anybody could memorize is “pray continually” and it comes in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 NIV. And it goes hand in hand with my journey right now as well. But it’s a reminder that wherever we are, whatever we’re doing, God is waiting for us to have a conversation with him. And that invitation is extended, it’s open, and it’s ready. And I love that because it’s proactive and reactive both, and it lets us know that he’s there waiting. The invitation is open and then we can step into that and have action on our part too.

Eden: Wow, Kristi, that is beautiful. And that’s such a wonderful way to put it—that there’s an open invitation for us always to relate to God and commune with him, and that he longs to hear us and to hear our cries and our worries, and he wants us to turn everything to prayer. What a great reminder.

I would love to hear—before we get into learning a little bit about your journey as a military wife—how you came to know Jesus.

Kristi Woods: Honestly, it was a fire policy, if you want to call it that. I was raised in the church. I went and sat on those pews every Sunday, but it was more of a check off the list. And I had what I called “Good Girl Syndrome”—that I just wanted to be a good girl and thought that good girl was kind of the goal. And it’s not. Jesus is. Forgiveness is. And that salvation through him is.

And it was in my early to mid 20s that we attended, my husband and I, a little country church, and our pastor and his wife were staunch in the Word and salvation. And those two things they focused on often, and made sure they knew in their congregation where everybody was as far as their salvation and their walk with Jesus. And I remember, I think we had choir practice or something, but I was the last person in the parking lot that day. And I was in our little Ford pickup truck—one of those small ones—and I can just remember, I had heard them talk so much about not missing out and being there with Jesus, going to heaven, not going to hell. And that’s what I wanted. And so I prayed right there in my little truck. And it wasn’t anything elaborate. There was no confetti. There was nobody else there. It was just me and Jesus. And at the time, my heart was more of, “I just don’t want to go to hell. I want to go to heaven instead.” But that was a beginning.

I do not dismiss it and would never dismiss it in anybody’s life, because that’s a very rich and powerful beginning of your relationship with Jesus. And for me, it was. That’s where it all started. And even though it didn’t look maybe as exciting or as emotionally deep as other people’s, it was the beginning. And that’s where Jesus and I started walking together. And then over the years, the Holy Spirit started to pull back more of the Word so that I could understand it. I started to better understand my own sinfulness and the needs for grace and mercy and what love really looked like. And all of the things that encompass a walk with the Lord. So that was it. It was a parking lot, me and a pickup truck, and Jesus. And that was it.

Eden: Lovely. Well, that’s wonderful. Even though you say it started with “fire insurance,” so to speak, that is what Jesus came to save us from. He came to save us from our sins and from an eternity that would be us suffering for our sins. And his work on the cross delivers us from that suffering that we deserve (Romans 5:8-9).

I don’t think it was until recently that I thought a good deal about how Jesus didn’t just come to save us from sin—that wasn’t the end. The end was to bring us into a relationship with God (1 Peter 3:18).

I’d love to hear a little bit about your journey with the military. So you wrote this beautiful, little book, 101 Prayers for Military Wives, which I found to be super helpful. I’m not a military wife, but I have lots of family and friends in the military, so I have a taste for what that life is like. You were a military wife for 19 years while your husband was in the Navy, from my understanding. Could you give us a brief overview of what your time looked like in the Navy?

Kristi Woods: What an adventure. It was wild, a little unconventional. I never anticipated being a military wife. In fact, I had gone to college, and that’s when [Operation] Desert Storm happened. At the time, you could write to any service person through a Dear Abby program, which, she was a newspaper columnist, or it was a column—I’m not sure if Abby was the actual person who wrote it. Anyway, they had a program out at that point where you could write in to any service person, and then they would deliver those to the troops overseas. And so my letter made it to my husband, and he and I were pen pals through [Operation] Desert Storm for quite a while. And then we started talking on the phone. And then we eventually—two years in or in the third year—met in person. Then the fourth year we got married. He came out of the military. I had gone and gotten my degree in interior design, and he came out of the military, and he was working.

And we ended up getting married and he was still in the reserves, and he still had the itch to be in the military. He’d gotten out because there were downsizing years, and he didn’t have a choice. But he still had that itch to be in. And he’d come to me, and I was like, “no.” I was a Christian, but I didn’t even ask God. I just gave the answer that sounded logical and right, and it was so wrong.

There was one day at choir practice, we had just finished, and our pastor’s wife came to me. I told her the situation, that Tony had come to me yet again, mentioning the military, wanting to go back in. And she looked at me, and it was one of those moments where it was like a Holy Spirit gong that had gone off. I knew her words were actually God using her as a mouthpiece because she said, “Well, Kristi, have you even considered it?” And as a believer, that stopped me in my tracks because no, I hadn’t. I hadn’t prayed. I hadn’t asked God what his will was. I had simply answered with the logical answer, which was, “why would we want to give up my career to take a pay cut and a half and go to the military where we would end up who knows where?” I went home and I said, “Okay, God, I hear that I’m supposed to pray about this.” And so I did.

I prayed and asked him and within a day, maybe two, (it might not even have been that much—it was a really fast turnaround), I was headed into Atlanta from our house. And this big semi-truck passed the other direction on the freeway, and it was one that looked almost carnival-like in its decoration or its design. And I’ve never seen one like it before, nor have I since, but it had four letters on the side of the truck, and it was a head-turner for me. And those four letters were N.A.V.Y. And I remember looking up at the ceiling of the car and I said, “You just answered the prayer, didn’t you? That you are telling me where we’re supposed to go.” And every time I looked at buildings, at hats, at other things, the word “Navy” was everywhere. It just kept coming at me. If you know Atlanta, it’s not a Navy town. It’s Delta, and it’s Coca-Cola, but not in my situation. It was Navy all the way baby, because God was trying to get my attention. And he did. And it took a little bit. So for those who maybe have more of a little stubborn side to them like me or are very analytical and think through things that way, and sometimes that gets in your way, have hope. The Lord will still overcome even those things to help guide you.

But off we went into the military, and it was like a foreign place because they use so many acronyms. I didn’t know what any of them were. I mean, it kind of had me scared silly because—and I know that sounds kind of crazy to be scared of something like that, but it actually was very intimidating because I didn’t know what they were. Tony and I had this running joke of x, y, z a, b, c. We would talk and I would end it with those things because I’m like, “I don’t know what this is,” but we got the hang of it and off we went.

We ended up journeying all sorts of places and it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of adventure. We got to see parts of the United States that were fantastic. The Lord took us to different places with different churches. The people within those churches had their own strengths. So each stop was a building of our own spiritual muscles. And then hopefully we got to pour into others as well. One was the Word and salvation and prayer, and those were all different things that were strengths as we went.

But with it there were challenges. A lot of times people don’t realize that when you have new orders, it’s extremely stressful because you don’t know what’s coming. And for somebody like myself who likes to know what’s coming, that is definitely a Proverbs 3:5-6 moment where you “trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.” Anxiety can be very high, and you have to learn how to choose “not to be anxious, but to, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” [Learn more about this verse Kristi quotes: Philippians 4:6-7], and to continually do that over and over and over, and just be adamant and stand strong spiritually.

There are situations—our third child was birthed with my husband halfway around the world. We had some amazing people that stayed all night in the hospital with me, and one of them drove with me to the hospital. Because, you know, military wives are known to be very strong-willed. And I was! I was having contractions but still drove myself to the hospital. She was in the passenger seat and I’m sure nervous, as all get out, that I was adamant to drive. But she stayed with me, and I just love her to this day. And she wasn’t even anything related to the military. She was a civilian from our church and became my sister in Christ. She shed the light of Christ simply by being with me as I went to the hospital. And then another woman stayed all night. She and her husband were there for a good part of the evening. Then she slept in a chair all night and went into the O.R. the next day because I had a cesarean (not really by choice, but that’s what happened), so she went into the O.R. with me and was the first to see our youngest, Caleb, be born. It was pretty phenomenal for all of us.

Those are just some of the examples of our journey. We were blessed that we lived in a variety of places from Virginia, North Carolina, Florida, Hawaii, all of those. The people are so different in every one. We still have friends at every stop. I feel like that’s just a blessing. So it was quite the journey. And then I was with Tony for 19 years, but he was in 24.5 years before he retired. We’re now living as a retired military family, but he still works. But we have that part of us behind us.

Eden: Thank you for sharing that with us. Your book, [101 Prayers for Military Wives] I found it humble and specific. And as I read it, I felt like I was overhearing you pray in your kitchen or in the living room or after just hearing news when your husband came home late at night. It felt like I was overhearing your discussions with the Lord. The book is really wonderful. I have many friends that are in the military [or a spouse of someone in the military] and my sister-in-law is one of them. And I thought, “I could imagine her reading this book in her kitchen and it giving her a lot of hope.”

I would love to hear how you learned to pray, because I think all of us come to know how to converse with the Lord, and there are different people that influence our understanding of prayer. I thought it’d be special to hear who helped shape the way that you pray and even your desire to pray.

Kristi Woods: Well, I think it started off with groups of believers. I can remember sitting in a circle with a small group, and I don’t even remember which stop it was (which duty station). I was scared silly because they were going around the circle and praying out loud and I was like, “I cannot do this.” My palms were sweating and I’m sitting there on the verge of a panic attack of “I can’t pray out loud. I don’t know how to do this.”

And the beautiful thing that I’ve learned—it’s been through others in the small groups; it’s been through pastors, pastors’ wives; it’s been people that are in ministry throughout our different stops—the beauty is that he hears (Psalm 34:17). It doesn’t matter how eloquent our words are. You can be at a stoplight and simply just say, “help,” and he’ll hear.

Once I got past that whole notion that it had to be eloquent and it had to be with these beautiful long words (Matthew 6:7-8), and that I wasn’t capable, and got past that—the reality is it’s just talking to God and listening to God. It’s both. It’s communication. It’s communion with him of just spending time together. It can be sloppy because he picks up those pieces and he takes them and makes them beautiful with his strength and his power.

We just have to relinquish that control to him. I think sometimes prayer can actually be correlated to that [control]. I know it was in my life that sometimes, especially as a younger Christian, because I was such a strong, self-willed person, when somebody would call out a need for prayer, sometimes I would buck it. And I hate to say that, but I’m just going to be really transparent about that. “Listen, I had a brain. I could figure this out. I don’t need to pray,” that’s what went through my brain—my thoughts. I really think that that’s part of the spiritual battle, to be honest with you, because apart from him (God), we can do nothing (John 15:5). And he’s called us to pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Both of those are Scriptures from the Word. Put them together and what do you have? You have a constant communication and connection to God Almighty. And he wants that—desires that from us. And so I learned then how to relinquish that control and set my requests at his feet, asking him, “What do I do next? Where do we go from here? Help, God! This is really messy, I need you. I don’t know what to do here.”

Praying Scripture. I learned that from one of our pastors, and I find that to be extremely powerful. In fact, on my website, in my subscriber library, I have some downloads that are Scriptures to pray specifically. What did Jesus throw back at the enemy in the desert (Matthew 4)? He threw back the Word at him. There’s power in God’s Word. And so when we speak it, when we pray it, when we proclaim it, there’s power there because it’s birthed by God, it’s authored by God (2 Timothy 3:16), and it’s his strength that we want to rely on in this journey. So that’s kind of it with prayer.

Literally sometimes I do pray at stoplights and then sometimes it’s looking out the window as my husband is driving and I see the beauty of nature, and I’ll start talking with God. And then sometimes there’s been a really hard situation, and I may be in tears and laying it out before him saying, “I don’t know what to do. This is ugly. Help me know. Show me my own heart in this so that we can walk through it successfully on your strength and your power and your know-how, God.”

Eden: Prayer takes such humility. I hear as you speak and I heard in your book, whatever situation you were in, you turned to God and asked for help. You asked for very specific help. You hear the news that your husband is getting deployed, and you have a wave of fear. You go to God and say, “God, I’m afraid. Help me. Help me to trust you.” In those situations anyone would be afraid or anxious! But what you choose to do and what you, by your book, instruct other women to do is, the second I feel that fear, or the second I identify, my heart is bitter, or my heart is angry, or wow, I just gossiped, or I really shouldn’t be thinking about this person that way, you immediately turn to the Lord and you confess it to him. And I thought that that was such a beautiful example and something that makes your book really powerful, because it teaches you to humbly depend on God, no matter what situation that you’re in.

I think of how in 1 Peter 5 it tells us to cast our anxieties on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7). But before he says that, he says, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God (1 Peter 5:6-7—Learn more about 1 Peter 5:7!). So it does take a little bit of recognizing that we are desperate and in need for us to truly cry out to him always. And I think your life really beautifully puts that on display, and you see that on display in your book as you teach other women how to pray.

You kind of answered this already, but I would love to hear if there are a couple of things that the Lord has taught you about prayer whether in the last couple of years or just over your lifetime. I know that, through your book, you demonstrate how to pray, but are there any kind of insights that you would give a young woman who’s maybe just starting out in getting used to conversing with the Lord? How would you encourage her?

Kristi Woods: I would encourage her one, any woman—young ones especially—sometimes time is a factor in our lives. I take those small snippets and use them. Don’t be afraid. Whether it’s drive time—turn off the radio, turn off the podcasts, and just have some quiet time with God—in the shower, at bed at night, before you get out of bed in the mornings, take those snippets of time and then start to grow them so that it becomes more substantial your time with him and allow him to show you.

I also said the Word. I find that to be extremely powerful. Before I came on here today, one of my prayers was, Lord, “may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight” today here on this podcast as we record (Psalm 19:14). And the same for Eden. Take those words and pray them if you’re not sure. Psalms is fabulous—lots of great prayers in there. Opportunities. Grab some of them. Just dig in. You’ll find a few that mean something substantial to you. Some of the shorter books in the New Testament also are fabulous places to find little snippets to pray as well. So definitely those.

And lastly, and this came about when I wrote the introduction, which I wrote after the book was written, but it was a visual that I got, I call it a “holy moment” because it was very powerful for me writing it. I tear up now, even just thinking about it. But if you could just imagine, visualize this, that there’s an office and there’s a desk, and I’m at the desk as the writer of this piece, this book, and there’s an office behind me where the door is open. And there’s a door in front where the woman comes off the street, whether it’s the military wife in this case, because it’s a book for her, but it could also be any woman that’s coming off the street, and she’s ready to spend time with God, but maybe she doesn’t know how. And so I’m there as kind of the receptionist or the intermediary to take her hand and to help walk her to that office door behind me. Because inside that office door is God Almighty waiting for her. And she’ll go into that space and the door will go close. And it’s time for just her and God to converse, to spend time with one another. And that’s the visual that I got and it was very, very powerful because it said, “I want you. I want to spend time with you. You’re my cherished creation. Come learn about me and let’s talk. Share your troubles, share your needs, share those petitions, and let’s just spend time together” (See Scriptures like Matthew 11:28-30; Psalm 62:8; Psalm 142:2; John 15:4).

I often consider the book—I mean, they’re very specific prayers because they’re based on the life of a military wife. And so that’s the feedback we’ve gotten over and over is: “you understand. You get it.” Yeah, that’s what these prayers are for. They’re specific. And that’s the other thing, the last thing that I would just slide in here too, is don’t be afraid to get very specific in your prayer request. Example: I’ve recently gone through a timeframe where I’m getting bad sleep, and I felt a prompting from the Holy Spirit to pray over it. So I started praying and asked a friend to start praying for my sleep. I was like, “Can you please pray that I will get good sleep?” Because I know that that’s important for my ability to create and other things relate and all sorts of stuff and health for my body as well. So we started praying over my sleep, and my sleep is getting better. So don’t be afraid to be very specific about your needs. God already knows them. But when we humble ourselves and we submit those requests to him, he hears them.

Eden: Amen. All that you’ve said reminds me of Psalm 116, where the psalmist says, “I love you, O Lord, because you’ve heard my voice, and you’ve listened to my cries for mercy.” And he says, “Therefore, I’ll call on you all the days of my life” (Psalm 116:1-2). We love the Lord for many reasons, but one of which is that he hears us, and he listens. When we really think about who God is and all that the Bible says about him, and then we consider that he hears me and he cares about my sleep, or my health, or the relational conflict that’s concerning me, or that one thing that I don’t have time for today, but he’ll create time for—he cares about everything and that blows us away. But it inspires us to keep calling on him and to keep coming to him in prayer.

I would love to hear if there are any books that have really transformed your walk with Jesus, that you would recommend to someone?

Kristi Woods: Absolutely. In fact, I was listening to one of your podcasts just recently, one of your guests mentioned one of them that is instrumental for me as well, which is The Pilgrim’s Progress. I would definitely recommend that one. I read the unabridged version though, and I had to go very slow because it was hard to understand. It took a little bit to understand it, but oh, what a powerful allegory that one is. It’s fabulous.

But I would also mention, for me as a young Christian and then as I’ve grown too, story is super important. And I found that other people’s stories were nourishment for my spiritual walk, and I needed that. And so I had Corrie Ten Boom’s, The Hiding Place. She was a believer in World War II and ended up in one of the [concentration] camps, unfortunately. And it walks through her story. And then a subsequent title that she wrote called Tramp for the Lord. Those are excellent, excellent reads that were food for my heart.

And then also The Cross and the Switchblade—David Wilkerson’s story. That one blew me out of the water. It was wonderful. So if you’re like I am and you’re a story person and that really helps you and speaks to you, those are two that I would start with. And there’s a whole bunch more, but those are definitely two top ones.

Eden: Thank you. I love story. I love biography. It’s so neat to see how you feel like you learn something new about the Lord as you watch him work in the lives of other people too. It’s so exciting.

Kristi Woods: And you feel super-charged too, that you’re like, “okay, so God can use a regular person. I’m just a regular person.” But if you make yourself available to God, he still uses anyone who’s willing.

Eden: Yes, absolutely. Well, thank you for those recommendations. And thank you for sharing a little bit of your story with us and what God has taught you. I know it’s really deeply encouraged my heart, and I know that it can encourage the hearts of those that listen. So thank you so much for your time.

Kristi Woods: Thank you, Eden. I hope so and I appreciate it.

Eden: Thank you so much for listening to our podcast today. If you enjoyed our conversation, I would encourage you to like or subscribe to our podcast so that you can hear the next conversation. And if something that you heard today spoke to your heart or got you thinking, I would encourage you to not let the day go by without talking to God about what’s on your mind. We believe that he loves you and that he’s pursuing you today out of that love.

Credits
The Bibles.net Podcast is hosted by our editor, Eden. But it is the collective effort of both our team members and friends. We want to especially thank Austin, Jenny, Wynne, Juan, Owen, and Evelyn for their help with audio, video, editing, graphics, and publishing.