I sat under the stars on the phone with a friend. Both of us had just expressed to one another how weary we were. Both of us had just named painful wounds still throbbing in our hearts. Both of us felt the intense weight of responsibility for our work.
Pain Tempts Us to Avoid Seeking God
The dark heavens above us (or above me) felt like the condition of our hearts. Light seemed to have vanished, and the relief of a new day seemed far away. But up there in the sky were little lights, telling us that darkness was not the whole story. We both have faith in Jesus, and we both have Bibles, which are filled with promises that, like the stars shining above, bring hope and direction to those like us lost under a dark sky – or a heart darkened by doubt.
Both of us were not wanting to read the Bible. Pain and pressure had brought all our doubts of God’s particular kindness to us (or seeming lack thereof) to the surface of our hearts. And we didn’t want to talk to him. Doubt was winning the war in our hearts, until the Holy Spirit armed us with this one verse.
Hebrews 11:6 says that “whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” (ESV).
In the middle of our doubt, discouragement, and ugly thoughts toward our kind God who deserved none of it, we remembered a promise. God rewards those who seek him. When we seek God, when we open his Word, when we share our hearts with God in prayer, God responds.
This Promise Beckons Us to Seek God
Together, we decided to believe God’s promise, rather than persist in our unbelief. We would open our Bibles that week, even if we had to crawl to them with cold hearts. God had told us through his Word that if we came, if we sought, he had something waiting for us.
Both of us crawled to our Bibles in the early morning afterward. My friend literally climbed a mountain before doing so and read her Bible at the top—overlooking an incredible sunrise she would not have seen had she not hiked in those early morning hours.
The glory of the sunrise that we both saw reflected in the image her phone could barely capture was the reward of a 5:00 a.m. early rise and a hike. Both were exceedingly uncomfortable in the moment.
The glory that we both saw in the face of God himself, as our hearts were comforted and our souls re-filled with assurance of his love for us (Romans 5:5), was the reward of an early rise and a crawl to our Bibles, regardless of how we felt.
The reward we got that morning made us want to come back and seek God again. And so, we learned an important lesson. When you don’t want to seek God, do it anyways. He is the sunrise worth your climb. He has promised you that he will reward those who seek him. And so, when you seek God and receive the reward he gives, you will want to seek him again.
Seek God Even When You Don’t Want To
You will find that he, the Lord who gently calls out to you in his Word, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)—is himself the reward you seek.
What keeps you today from seeking the Lord? We point to this promise in Hebrews 11:6 as a north star in your dark sky. Seek the Lord, and he will reward you. He will show you, among many lesser wonders, himself. For though a single promise of his may be like a north star to your doubting heart, he himself is the Sun, shining in all its glory, from where all his promises find their light (Psalm 84:11).
Go to him once, receive the reward, and you will find it easier to go to him again.