There are probably numerous obstacles or stumbling blocks that stand in the way of our feeling the affection of God for us. Entering into the fullness of what it means to know God’s steadfast love for us is no easy thing. It certainly doesn’t come naturally to us. So let’s consider some of the biggest obstacles that hinder us from feeling the depths of God’s love.
Six Reasons You May Doubt God’s Love for You
1. Your Past
One of the more powerful lies that makes this a challenge is the false belief that God’s affection for me is held hostage by my past. In other words, we live in fear that our past failures govern our present identity and our future hopes. I am what I’ve done in the past. I am the sins I’ve already committed. I am what others have done to me. I am what others have said about me. And if that is what I am then it is obvious that God couldn’t possibly love me. We must constantly remind ourselves that our history is not our identity (see 2 Corinthians 5:17).
2. Your Current Circumstances
Then there is the false belief that my current circumstances are indicative of God’s affection for me. We measure God’s love by how successful we are in terms of money, popularity, health, prospects for the future, friends, family, and how we are doing in comparison to others. This false belief is rooted in the assumption that hardship and adversity are signs of God’s displeasure and his disappointment with us.
3. Your Performance
We must also push back against the false belief that God’s love for us is based on what we do rather than what Christ has done. We rehearse in our minds all the things we have done or failed to do and then conclude that the strength and steadfastness of God’s love is somehow tied to our performance rather than resting in the performance of Christ on our behalf.
4. Your Weakness
An especially troublesome obstacle is the belief that God’s knowledge of us will forever preclude the possibility that he will enjoy us or delight in us. We know ourselves all too well. We know our sins, selfishness, weaknesses, failures, and tendency to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. And we despise ourselves for it. We live in self-contempt and self-condemnation. The guilt and shame are at times overwhelming. But if God knows us better than we know ourselves, then he must be a thousand times more disgusted with us than we are with ourselves.
This is when I remind myself of Psalm 103:14. You are probably familiar with all the glorious things God does for us as described in verses 1-13 of this psalm—give us mercy, grace, patience, and steadfast love. It is precisely at this point that my soul so often pushes back against God’s Word: “But God, how can any of this be true given that you know me infinitely more accurately than I know myself? Surely, your knowledge of how I’m made and what I do will undermine any hope of my experiencing your steadfast love.” That is when the next verse in the psalm comes to the rescue. Immediately after this beautiful list describing God’s love and mercy and forgiveness, the psalmist declares, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14 ESV). Hold on. That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. As best I can tell, it is precisely because God knows my “frame” and remembers that I am a descendant of Adam, made from the dust of the ground, that he would never do for me the things that he says he will do in the first 13 verses (Psalm 103:1-13). I think God would reply something to the effect of “Ah, Sam, that’s how you think. That’s not how I think. Divine logic is immeasurably greater and more persuasive than human logic. It is indeed because (“for,” v. 14) I know your tendencies, your bad habits, your disposition, your sinful and selfish ways, that I have graciously chosen to do the very things you think are impossible.”
Simply put, we must never let our knowledge of God’s knowledge of us prevent us from understanding and enjoying his great love for us.
5. Satan’s Slander
In addition to the many reasons thus far, there are the lies and slander of Satan that daily hammer us in an effort to convince us that a holy God could never love or care about unholy people like us. You know his tactics: “God is embarrassed by you. He’s fed up with you. His patience for you has run out. He’s done. It’s over. You are a pathetic failure. You’re hopeless. You’re an unsightly wart on the body of Christ. You’re too ugly, dumb, sinful, overweight, slow, poor, weak, and untalented, and it’s just too darn late.” And I’m only scratching the surface of all the many reasons we are convinced God’s love for us is a ruse.
6. Your Sense of Inadequacy
No wonder Paul felt it so necessary to pray that God would step into the situation and remove the boulders from the pathway to intimacy with him. But there is one final obstacle to overcome. It is the misguided conviction that God will only love some future version of myself, the me that will one day emerge after my house is in order, my checkbook is in balance, and my bad habits are broken. You should know by now, after reading this book, that God loves the present version of yourself. That doesn’t mean he’s perfectly pleased with everything in our lives today. But it does mean that our current failures are no barrier to his steadfast love. His love is of such a nature that it finds us where we are and then refuses to leave us there.
Pray to Know God’s Love for You
I’ve discovered that the only thing that supplies our souls with lasting hope, promise, encouragement, and energy for tomorrow is the experiential reality of God’s steadfast love for us!
I’m not talking merely about knowing it to be a fact, knowing it to be a theological truth. This is more than a spectacle to observe, a topic to discuss, or an argument to defend. Don’t approach the reality of God’s love for you like you would a painting in a museum, such as the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, encased behind bulletproof glass and roped off at a distance with security guards surrounding you. God wants you to feel it. God wants you to be captivated in body, soul, and spirit, to be overwhelmed in the depth of your affections with a tangible sense of his passion and presence.
One final observation is in order. Although it is God who must act to make this a reality in our lives, he employs means.
You are God’s beloved child. But the opportunity for you to experience this steadfast love in the present is dependent on God working in your life to direct you into the enjoyment of his delight in you. Pray that God would overcome whatever fear, hesitation, or anxiety there is in your heart that prevents you from believing that his steadfast love is a reality. And avail yourself of every means he has provided so that you may enter into his love and live peaceably and joyfully in all that it means to be beloved of the Most High.
There are, then, several things we should devote ourselves to as a way to keep ourselves in a posture of mind and heart where the love God has for us can do its work.
Four Things You Can Do to Fuel Faith in God’s Love for You
1. Soak in What God Says
First, we must daily read God’s written Word and remind ourselves of its truths. Meditate on its promises. Reflect on its portrait of God, Christ, and the Spirit. Believe its truths. Trust in its power. And as you read, remind yourself of God’s love as demonstrated in the cross. Reaffirm what you know to be true. Defy feelings, or lack thereof, that contradict these truths, and cling in faith to Zephaniah 3:17. Practice not forgetting God’s benefits and blessings (Psalm 103:1-3). Stop listening to your irrational and negative thoughts and instead preach the gospel to yourself.
The psalmist often scolds himself and argues with his own soul, taking issue with what he feels when it contradicts what he knows to be true. We must learn to talk to ourselves (rather than listen to ourselves): “Self, soul, listen up. God loves you! Look at the cross. Remember the Table of the Lord. Look to the elements of bread and wine. What do they mean? To what do they point?” Remind yourself of the past and look to the future.
2. Say No to Sin
Second, “abide” in his love by keeping his “commandments” (John 15:9, 10). “If you keep my commandments,” said Jesus, “you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love” (John 15:9-10 ESV). Sin numbs the soul, deadens the heart, and renders the spirit deaf and senseless. But obeying Christ allows us to experience his love.
3. Seek God in Prayer
Third, pray. Ask God to renew your affections and increase your capacity to feel his love. Cry out to him often to restore the joy of your salvation, to pour out afresh the Holy Spirit in order to awaken in you a renewed sense of his delight in you. There is no better prayer to launch your day with than that of Psalm 90:14: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (ESV).
4. Sing About God’s Love
Fourth, worship. Worship your way into the experience of God’s love. Permeate the atmosphere in your home, car, and office with songs of praise. Often we must sing to joy rather than merely from it. God has ordained music as a means of grace whereby truths that our hearts cannot fully absorb through spoken or written words are more easily believed and received.
Finally, never lose sight of the assurance that Jeremiah provides in Lamentations 3: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV). Soon this day will come to an end, and even your life on this earth. But God’s steadfast love never will.