According to the Bible, what defines a woman? What are the key differences between women and men? How does God want a woman’s character to grow and develop?
This article seeks to answer those questions directly from Scripture.
First let’s consider the dignity of womanhood—why it’s so special to be a woman. Then we’ll look at three qualities inherent to every woman revealed to us both in the opening chapters of the Bible and by mere observation. Finally, we’ll share three hallmarks of godly women. By “godly women” we mean women who have put their faith in Jesus and who are being transformed by his Spirit into women who reflect his own character.
The Value of Every Woman
To be a woman means certain things are true of you. You bear the qualities of womanhood whether or not you feel, look, dress, or want to be what our culture calls feminine. Womanhood is not a status you achieve; it’s your nature. The Bible reveals who you are as a woman, and who God intends for you to be.
The Bible teaches that every woman is made “in the image of God” (Genesis 1:27), This means you are created to resemble, represent, and reflect who he is in the world. It also means that you are created for a relationship with God, to know him and to be known by him.
This identity inherently dignifies every woman.
The image of God is what sets people apart from the rest of creation. But, in the act of creating humans, God also made a distinction between them—creating us male and female. Men are also made in God’s image.
So, we wonder, what’s the difference between man and woman? What makes a woman who she is?
Three Qualities Inherent to Every Woman
Let’s consider three distinct features of women that differ from men.
1. Women Are Designed to Be Life-Givers
We could start with the most obvious observable difference between us, which is our appearance. God designed women’s bodies as life-giving systems (Genesis 3:20). We are built with the capacity to nurture, house, birth, and nourish new life!! This tells us something about how God created us as women, regardless of if we ever experience intimacy or pregnancy. Susan Hunt says it well: “The redeemed woman is called to be a life-giver in every season, relationship, and situation.”
2. Women Are Beautiful
There’s also something uniquely captivating about women—God made us especially beautiful. The first woman was a gift to the first man, and God made her in such a way that he would find great delight in her (Genesis 2:22-23). Throughout the Bible we learn about the power of femininity. Our feminine spirit is a God-ordained distinctive of gals that’s just part of our makeup, whether we’re wearing makeup or not! Femininity is a transcendent beauty—deeper and stronger than our physical appearance. Regardless of our cultural metric of attractiveness or our own sense of beauty, all women are beautiful on account of their innate femininity as women. God designed us with this intrinsic beauty and created us to be a delight to others and to beautify the world.
3. Women Are Relators
Already from our biology and our beauty we discern a difference in God’s design for creating women. When God created the first woman, he made her to be the perfect companion for the man (Genesis 2:18). He designed her differently than him, not to compete with him, but to complement him. God made man and presented him with a garden to work (Genesis 2:15). God made a woman and presented her to the man to be his help (Genesis 2:18, 22).
From this we learn that God intends for women to be “helpers”—meaning our primary role isn’t to attend to a task, but to people. Women are more relationally inclined than men and are wired for people in a special way. Although both men and women work in God’s world, and although both men and women relate to one another, men and women have different inclinations and propensities—men towards the work God has given them to do and women toward the people God has placed in their lives.
Women are distinct from men in their role in the world, which means, “the action for which a person or thing is specially fitted or used or for which a thing exists” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). We’re made for people.
Three Hallmarks of a Godly Woman
Women are beautiful, relational life-givers. Knowing this about ourselves, what does God-honoring feminine expression look like?
“Godly femininity” has often been distorted into a set of cultural standards for women’s dress, lifestyle, and personality. But true God-honoring femininity is a matter of character, according to Scripture. Of course, character will find expression in what we wear and say and do. But godly femininity does not start there, nor is it ever reduced to those dimensions.
Let’s consider three hallmarks of godly women from Scripture.
1. God Calls Women to Be Fearless
First, God calls women to be fearless. The Bible holds out countless examples of women who said “no” to fear because they chose to trust God. The women of faith we read about through redemption history like Sarah, Ruth, Abigail, Esther, and Mary didn’t let fear rule their hearts despite finding themselves in frightening situations, but instead put their hope in the promises and character of God. They acted out of love for others and love for God despite their fears.
Fear keeps us from obeying God, blessing others, and maturing. Fear keeps us from living into our identity as life-givers. Faith, on the other hand, moves us to action as we trust in God.
1 Peter 3:6 presents us with a woman named Sarah as an example of godly femininity and explains that she did “not fear anything that’s frightening” (ESV). In a legitimately frightening situation, she didn’t choose fear. Fearlessness is also listed as a praiseworthy trait of the woman of noble character in Proverbs 31, for it says of her that “she can laugh at the days to come,” which assumes she’s not afraid of the future (Proverbs 31:25 NIV).
Fearlessness is a hallmark of a godly woman—and not because it comes easily to women. Just the opposite. Fear will be the specter every woman must stand down. Godly women learn not to flinch in the face of fear, but instead, to rely on God in faith.
2. God Calls Women to Have a Humble Spirit
Second, God calls women to a humble attitude. In a New Testament letter, the Holy Spirit urges women in this way:
Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 4:3-4 NLT)
The Bible says there’s a beauty deeper than physical appearance—inner beauty. God is primarily concerned with the attitude of a woman’s heart not her aesthetic appearance. What is the attitude God finds so precious?
Gentleness and quietness of spirit. This does not mean that women need to be mousy or never speak their mind. Rather, gentleness here means humility, and a quiet spirit is one that is tranquil or undisturbed. A woman with a humble and contented heart will not overthink her appearance, for that’s not her ultimate concern.
A woman’s beauty and her body may be her most obvious appeal for attention, and thus the first area we consider when thinking about modesty. A woman’s dress should reflect a humble heart, one that seeks the good of others rather than flaunting what she’s got. It should reflect a quiet spirit, one that isn’t seeking to catch the attention of others and draw them to lust after her.
In a letter all about how followers of Jesus should behave when they’re gathered together to worship God, Paul instructs women in a similar way as Peter did: To “adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” (1 Timothy 2:9-10 ESV).
What girls “put on” often takes up their first waking thoughts, and much of their time. We talk about applying makeup, accessorizing, and getting dressed as “getting ready”—which can all be fun and good in right measure. But godly women “get ready” for the day with their minds on something other than their appearance; namely, doing good to others. Rather than her mind being consumed by externals, a godly woman’s mind is consumed with how to please the Lord and how to love her neighbor. In other words, her attitude is not fixated on herself, but on others.
Remember, you were created as a woman! It’s okay to wear flattering, lovely, stylish, cute outfits! Godly women don’t neglect their appearance; they just make a conscious effort to please the Lord and love others, rather than leveraging their appearance to gain attention.
God’s Word doesn’t call us to restrictive rules as a kill-joy. It calls women to an attitude of humility and meekness—fully aware of their beauty, abilities, and gifting, and fully in control of how they present themselves, that they might love others well and give glory to God.
3. God Wants Women to Leverage Their Gifts to Serve Others
Third, godly women are life-giving helpers. Yes, our bodies are designed to be homes and nourishment for babies. But our life-giving abilities go beyond our biology. Proverbs describes wives as either their husband’s crown or the rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4). What influence! We have the potential to make or break others with our words and our ways.
Proverbs 31 paints a portrait of a virtuous woman of noble character. In our own terms, she’s an incredibly resourceful and productive super-mom! She’s a whiz both in the home and in the marketplace, she’s capable and kind, she manages a household and employs help, yet she doesn’t shy away from doing hard work herself.
She’s the light of her husband’s life, the safety of her kids in hard times, the responsible steward of their thriving home, and a reliable supplier to various businesses (Proverbs 31:11-12; 21, 24, 27). What a woman! She’s awesome. She lives for the good of others.
This is the vision God paints for us in his Word of a woman worthy of praise: A woman known for her character, not her charm or beauty, who leverages all her God-given talents and resources to bring about good in the lives of others (Proverbs 31:30-31).
How Do I Become a Godly Woman?
No woman can be who God created her to be on her own. How do we live out our true identities for God’s glory and our joy?
We come as we are to the Savior, Jesus. We admit our brokenness and ask him for the forgiveness and transformation that he longs to give. If we accept Jesus’ sacrifice for us on the cross, which paid the penalty for our sins against God and others, and if we trust in his resurrection on our behalf, we will be freed from condemnation, and God will begin a work of renewal in us (Romans 8:1; Philippians 1:6).
If you come to Jesus admitting your sin and your need for a Savior, Jesus will rescue you from the eternal punishment that your sin deserves. In his kindness, Jesus will come and make his home with you (John 14:23). He’ll begin the lifelong work of transforming you into the kind of woman he wants you to be.
At one point in his ministry, Jesus described following him as walking on a narrow road that’s seldom traveled. He warns that the way can be hard and those that walk it few (Matthew 7:14). As with every area of our lives, there will be times when living out God’s design for women in this world will be challenging. Being a godly woman will not only mean saying yes to Jesus, but it will include saying no to the visions of womanhood and the appeals to your female heart that stand in opposition to what Jesus says in his Word.
Yet we are not alone as we seek to be the women God intends for us to be. He has given us his own Spirit as our helper, that we live in ways that please him (John 14:26 ESV). He is life itself, and out of his heart flow streams of living water. As we drink deeply from the fount of living water (which is Jesus himself), we will be filled with his life which then we can pour into the lives of others (John 7:38). And he is altogether beautiful, the most glorious being, and the one worthy of ultimate worship. We will bring beauty into the lives of others, if we point them to his glory.
You’re made in God’s image and have dignity because you are his creation. You’re beautiful, and you were made to bring beauty and life to others. The greatest beauty you could pursue is the beauty of becoming more like Jesus, which begins when you show him your ugliness and ask him for the soul-deep cleansing only he can provide. Will you do that today if you never have?
You’ve tasted the Bible’s vision for womanhood. This week, ask one of your friends to read this article, and consider discussing how the Bible’s vision of womanhood differs from the world’s vision of femininity.