Some relational pains seem impossible to endure—especially when your parents get divorced. Just the thought of living through the mess after what feels like an explosion, can feel worse than the initial shock and trauma.
Friend, I know that God can do incredible things with the worst messes, and with the messiest messes, but that’s a topic for later. The wonderful thing about the Bible is that regardless of what’s going on all around us, it can change what’s happening inside of us—it can act as an anchor, though all around is a storm.
Can I show you how the Bible can help you sail through the pain?
The Author of the Bible Wants to Be Your Anchor
Really, it’s not the book that helps, but the one who wrote the book—the Voice that we hear when we read it. The God of the Bible tells us that he is one God, but three persons—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It’s God’s character—who he is—that anchors us in our deepest pain. I know it might be hard to think about God right now, but will you let me explain, and then take some time to think about it?
God reveals himself to us as a Father who in love offers you forgiveness in Jesus Christ. God the Father gives all his children the gift of his Holy Spirit—his very own presence to never ever leave.
Why You Need to Know the Son
Right now you are suffering the effects of your parents’ sin—so you know how ugly sin is.
I wonder if you have ever thought about the ugliness of sin in your own heart? Do you wish that bitterness and anger and rebellion didn’t get a hold of you the way they do? Do you wish things could be different from the inside as well as the outside?
The first work God has to do in all of our lives, before anything else, is to restore our relationship with him. We must see that we aren’t just wronged; we are wrongdoers (Romans 3:23). As hard as it is, you must realize that you fall short of God’s standards, just as much as your parents have fallen short in their failures. We are all guilty before God.
Out of love, God clothed himself in humanity in the person of Jesus. He came to earth so that he could bear God’s punishment for your sins on the cross, defeat death and the power of sin by rising from the dead, and give you new life.
God made it possible for you to have a relationship with him through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. The only thing for you to do is receive Jesus as the way of forgiveness, the way to a relationship with God, and the new Lord of your life. For “…to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12 ESV).
It is believing in Jesus Christ that makes us children of God. The Bible describes when you have faith in Jesus as being “born again” (John 3:3)—this time born into God’s family.
Why You Need to Know the Father
God made families to be little pictures of his big plan. That’s why it hurts so bad when they’re broken because we’re wired to understand family God’s way. Even though you rebelled against God, he wants you to be part of his family, to know him as your Father (Jeremiah 3:19).
Do you want proof that God loves you? He has offered for you to be his child—he has offered you a new family, a new Dad. “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1 ESV).
With a new Dad, comes a new identity. When you accept Jesus’ forgiveness for your sins, you change from being a child of your parents to a child of God. He becomes your ultimate Father, your authority, your dearest friend, your counselor, your guide for life. And he knows you better than your parents ever could—for even before you were a twinkle in their eye, God Almighty had planned every day of your life. He made you and wired you to be you (Psalm 139:13-16). You don’t have to think of yourself as a child of divorce—but as a child of the King.
But that’s not all.
Why You Need to Know the Holy Spirit
We’ve talked about Jesus’ work for you. We’ve talked about the Father’s love for you. But the Father also has a special gift for you, as you follow Jesus (Luke 11:13). Jesus told his followers,
If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. (John 14:15-17 NLT)
The Holy Spirit is God—living in us. One thing he does is point us to our heavenly Father and assure us that we belong to him. Galatians 4:6 says, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’” (ESV).
No matter what your family looks like, you have a Father if you believe in Jesus. He promises that he will never, ever, ever abandon you (Hebrews 13:5). He has promised that nothing in all of creation can separate you from him—that’s why he came to live inside you by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:37-39).
Why is the Holy Spirit so special? He is the Person who raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 8:11 ESV). The Holy Spirit breaks, removes, and cleanses us from sin (Romans 8:2). He can remove bitterness from your heart and strengthen you when you’re overwhelmed and exhausted (Isaiah 41:10). Even when your parents aren’t there, he can lead and guide you into maturity and your decisions (Psalm 32:8).
And the Holy Spirit is the one who helps us understand God’s Word. As you open the Bible, he will give you understanding and help you navigate life, he will comfort you (Psalm 119:24; Jeremiah 8:18 NIV).
The doctrine of the Trinity (the fancy word that means God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) is a little confusing—it is for most who read the Bible. God is one in three persons. Though this really stretches our minds and we can’t quite understand it fully, we can take comfort in it, because it’s what makes God so incredibly wonderful.
The Way Through the Pain
Our God is the God of all comfort.
The way through your pain is knowing the love of the Heavenly Father, being set free by Jesus from all the sin in your own heart, and walking in the Spirit as he leads you on, strengthening and comforting your heart.
For all who trust in Jesus, there is a promise that the pain will be taken away in the end (Revelation 21:4). And we await that day with hope.
We cannot rescue you from the storm, but we have this anchor for our soul—the God at the center of the Bible’s story. Would you ask him to be your anchor too? Just ask. He’s ready and willing to reveal himself to you.